I don’t own a motorcycle, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want one. However, with a wife and 3 children to take care of it’s probably not the most practical thing for me to own at this point in my life.

If I did own a motorcycle, I’d want to own something like a Harley-Davidson Breakout. Something that has a little grit to it. Or a Victory Gunner. Those both seem respectable and manly enough to garner some attention from passersby (pedestrians, gawkers, etc.). In addition, I’d want to join a motorcycle club too like the Bald Guys Motorcycle Club based in Maine. Check out some of their requirements to join their club:

  • Must own, have owned, know someone who owns, or at least have been on a motorcycle.
  • Must have a minimum 3″ bald spot somewhere on your head.
  • No receding hairlines unless it’s past your ears.
  • Must like micro brews or buy them for those who do. (We don’t drink and drive, no place for the pretzels!)
  • Red Dog beer is right out unless it’s real hot, you’re almost out of gas and the nearest micro brew is 5 miles away. Then Red Dog becomes the official club drink. If you don’t drink, no problem, you’ll be entertained by those of us who do.
  • We always ride safe and wear a helmet… to prevent sunburn.
Bald Motorcycle Helmet designed by Igor Mitin, creative director of brand agency GOOD!

Bald Motorcycle Helmet designed by Igor Mitin, creative director of brand agency GOOD!

Speaking of helmets, I think it would only be fitting for me to own this bald motorcycle helmet, developed by Igor Mitin, creative director of brand agency, GOOD!  While Mitin made some other amazing designs including a watermelon, golf ball, 8 ball and bowling ball motorcycle helmets, I would be denying my glorious baldness by going with something other than a bald motorcycle helmet.

Bald Tees T-Shirts

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